Tirmis on My Terms

Dear Tirmis,
I hope you don't mind if I call you Tirmis. You see, I can't seem to take you seriously when they call you "Lupini Bean". In fact, I didn't know that Lupini was your other name until after I got married which was over 3 years ago. (Thanks for not coming to the wedding, by the way.) Let's go back in time. Remember when we were kids? I would call out to you from my bedroom window, "Tiiirrrmiiiisss!" but to my disappointment, you didn't always come running home. You hung out downtown by the Nile instead. I don't get why you would never come over. Don't you know that mommy cooks everything she finds in her house with equal love and care? Why didn't you jump into the shopping cart at the grocery store? Why didn't you hide in the cupboard until she found you and got so bored of seeing you that she made you? Couldn't you see my love for you? Couldn't you feel my yearning, my longing, my need to run up to the hand-drawn tirmis cart on the street and let Tirmis Man give me a paper cone full of yellow you? According to Mommy, Tirmis Man who sold you wasn't very clean and neither was his cart so in turn, you weren't either. I couldn't meet you on the street like other kids either. No siree, not me. Especially after my cousin's husband entertained us with a story about how the people who prepare you by the Nile supposedly pee on you to get rid of your bitterness and add that extra saltiness we collectively crave as Egyptians. I couldn't have you at home because you refused to come over AND I couldn't buy you from the supposedly unclean Tirmis Man. The only times I got to have you were when we went out to a proper establishment where they would dump you, tirmis, on the table in hopes that maybe we'd buy more drinks to get more termis. [You should thank me because by now, I've said your name so many times that everyone foreign to Egypt knows your Egyptian name.] So Tirmis... Essmat, my friend, is leaving back to Cairo where you're casually hanging by Tahrir Square and she had some of you left in her kitchen in Malaysia because you managed to jump into her shopping cart here so she gave you to me and now you are under my mercy, all 500 grams of you. Serves you right for avoiding me for 26 years. Enjoy being soaked and boiled - our torturous version of waterboarding. After all, we've got to get rid of your bitter edge. 
      
Cackling and Callousness,
Termis-Deprived


Egyptian Termis (Lupini Beans)
You'll need:
250 grams of lupini beans
The juice of 1 lime
1 teaspoon of ground cumin
salt to taste

[After being soaked for a day.]

Lupini beans are very bitter. They must be boiled and soaked in several changes of water for several days. They're eaten by biting the seed to press the flesh into the mouth and then discarding the skin. Soak the lupini beans for 24 hours and drain the next day. Fill a pot with water and add the beans. Bring to a boil then leave to simmer until the bean is soft but firm. Drain again and add to salter water. Continue to change the salted water until the bitterness subsides. To serve, add the beans to a serving dish, add the lime juice and the cumin and mix through. 

Revisiting Pound Cake

One thing that really bothers me about life abroad is saying goodbye to friends. My memories and a column for The Daily News Egypt dedicated to a woman who has become my sister over the past few years. Watch out Cairo. An amazing baker and sugar artist is arriving soon. 

Dragonfruit-kiwi smoothie & a post about "Me!"

Who needs to start incorporating more fruit into her diet? Me! Who needs to start doing it in a way that doesn't involve as much chewing? Me! Who needs to stop being lazy to bite into an apple? Me! Who doesn't like raw apples very much? Me! Who needs to start loving fruit wholeheartedly? Me! Who loves the little seeds in kiwis? Me! Who thought of doubling the seed love by doubling the seedy fruit? Me! Who found the dragonfruit? Me! Who used the no-skills part of her brain to make a smoothie? Me!  

Dragonfruit-Kiwi Smoothie

Serves 2

1 small dragonfruit, roughly diced

2 kiwis, sliced

The juice of half a lemon

1 tablespoon of sugar

10-12 ice cubes

Chop up the dragonfruit and kiwi. Put them in the blender. Squeeze the juice of half a lemon onto the fruit and sprinkle with sugar. Add the ice cubes. Blend until smooth and serve. 

Done.

Doughnut Muffins & the Art of Lining Up

Hello, hello. Something a little weird happened. I wrote my The Daily News Egypt column for this week focusing on the donut stores in Malaysia. After sending the column off to my editor, I discover that it was also National Donut Day in the States. Weird but irrelevant to us in other parts of the world. Is there an International Donut Day? 

Sugar Doughnut Muffins
(Recipe from Baking Bites)
Makes 24 mini-muffins/10 standard muffins
You’ll need
3/4 cup of sugar
1 large egg
1 1/2 cups of all-purpose flour
2 teaspoon of baking power
1/4 teaspoon of salt
1/4 teaspoon of ground nutmeg
1/4 cup of vegetable oil
3/4 cup of milk (low fat is fine)
1 teaspoon of vanilla extract
2 tablespoons of butter, melted
1/2 cup of sugar, for rolling


Preheat oven to 180 degrees Celsius. Lightly grease a muffin tin with vegetable oil. In a large bowl, beat together the sugar and egg until light in color. In a small bowl, whisk together the flour, baking powder, salt and nutmeg. Pour the dry mixture into the egg mixture and stir to combine. Pour in the vegetable oil, milk and vanilla extract and mix until combined. Divide batter evenly into 10 muffin cups or 24 mini-muffin cups, filling each about 3/4 full. Bake for 15-18 minutes for standard-sized muffins or 11-13 minutes for mini-muffins, until a tester inserted into the center comes out clean. While muffins are baking, melt the butter and pour remaining sugar into a small bowl. When muffins are done, lightly brush the top of each with some melted butter, remove from the pan and roll in sugar. Leave to cool before serving.